"I bet Brittney Spears is thinking, 'What do I have to do now!?'" -Mom (on Pink's grammy performance)
"What if she got really dizzy and threw up on everyone?" -Mom (also on Pink's grammy performance)
It's like the whole world went on vacation and got fat together" -Emily Underwood
"Where am I? Where am I? I fell off my yoshi! SHOOT I'm dead again!" -Mom (Playing super Mario Bros with Matthew)
All I can say is, THAT IS ONE BAD WEAVE- Mom
Honey, those steroids aren't gonna help YOU- Mom
It's like teaching Christianity without Jesus!- Mom (On starting US History in the 1870's)
Don't give that little girl a Sprite! What is she like two? It'll corrode her insides!- Mom
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